


Evening musings

by Iily7



Category: The Thick Of It
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-10 07:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12907470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iily7/pseuds/Iily7
Summary: Just a little drabble. Malcolm's thoughts about Nicola





	1. Chapter 1

He lay awake thinking about her, lambasting himself for this fucking weakness. What was it about her that made him feel like this? She was dowdy, middle aged, married, a mother of four for Christ's sake! And yet she was the chink in his armour. 

It struck him often how unlikely this had been. At this stage in his life, his career to have found her. Their encounters would play through his mind over and over on a nightly basis. The way she'd looked at him, the way she'd smiled, her voice, how her figure had been highlighted in the day's outfit. If she'd touched him. 

And he'd look for deeper meaning there, just a hint that this 'thing' was reciprocated. Sometimes he thought it was. Sometimes he thought he'd see something flash in her eyes, or her breath catch in her lovely throat and in that moment he'd have no doubt. And then he'd replay the moment until he was sure of the opposite and chastising himself for ever letting himself get carried away in the first place.

He was worried he'd risk everything for her. He didn't want to put his job on the line, it was his life, it occupied his every waking moment but now it was so often interrupted by images of her flashing through his mind. He didn't WANT to want her. 

He thought he'd let his guard down a bit too far today. She was often funny; witty and acerbic and he so didn't want to smile but that didn't stop his treacherous body. 

Tonight was the closest he'd ever come to just giving in and touching her. He put his head in his hands and sighed deeply at his self control. He wished he fucking had now. Now he was back in his too quiet, empty flat with her delicate scent still lingering on his jacket. 

She'd been pleasantly tipsy, it had made her unafraid to be tactile and she'd wound him up to the point of frenzy in the pub with her soft fingertips brushing him and the gentle flush at her neck, tipping her head back to laugh with abandon, turning the full force of her sparkling eyes to him. 

He'd only stayed because of her. Only walked her out because it was her, he wouldn't have done it for any other mp, he just wanted to prolong their contact. She'd held onto his arm and her breast had pressed gently against him. He'd given her his coat, she hadn't even indicated she was cold for fucks sake but he'd slipped it round her shoulders, breathing in the scent of her hair, stroking his hands down her arms, enjoying how petite it made her look. 

Her skirt had ridden up in the car. They'd been smiling together, talking softly and god he should have just done what he'd wanted to do. Reached out and stroked her face, if she hadn't pulled back he'd have kissed her. He could almost taste her soft mouth, feel how gentle it would have been, although maybe it would have given way to passion, maybe she'd have pressed herself against him desperately, opened her mouth to him, let him slide his fingertips up that gorgeous expanse of leg he'd spent the entire journey surreptitiously gazing at. Maybe she'd be here now, on top of him, forcing him back into the sofa, kissing him hungrily, allowing him to undress her... god he had to stop this. Every time he imagined her like this, panting and wanton he fell harder, and he really couldn't afford to do that.

They'd fought today, really properly slung vitriol at each other. His gut twisted as he remembered her crushed expression and it made him all the more angry that she could do this to him. 

He'd made it up with her today. He'd tossed and turned most of the night thinking about her, realised his priorities were shifting irreparably. Losing his temper wasn't worth it anymore. It just wasn't worth the guilt. He had plenty of people he could use as his own personal punch bag, more than any other person he knew. Anyone in his life apart from his sister and his p.a would take whatever he threw at them, and did so on a regular basis, so far better to take it out on one of them and not give it a second thought than to be the cause of her upset. It meant he would get some sleep anyway.

He'd begged her today. He'd found out she was intending to move to America and his stomach had dropped into his boots. In that moment he'd realised just how far he'd come, just HOW much he needed her. And it terrified him. He'd just rung the department and told them she wasn't coming there and then. Then he'd felt utterly sick at his own desperation. God he'd made a massive life changing decision on her behalf, without a second thought, based entirely on his own selfish feelings. Then he'd called her in and started doing what he did best; manipulating. But the conversation soon deteriorated when he saw how angry she was that he was 'ringing' the department. He'd cajoled and joked, he'd promised her things he knew he couldn't possibly guarantee and then he'd just asked her. Stay. Please god stay here with me, I don't know how to live my life without you anymore. And she'd said 'ok I'll stay'. Straight away. The three sweetest words he'd ever fuckin heard, good god the weight lifted instantly. But he felt no satisfaction that he'd clipped her wings, stopped her taking a great opportunity and flat out lied to her. He also felt he had absolutely no other choice.

He'd danced with her tonight. Too close and too drunk, both on whiskey and her. He'd held her in front of the entire party and all their staff, unable to make himself care about how it would look to them, not when she had her arms around him that tightly, her breath had been on his neck, he could have sworn she'd shivered as he'd run his fingers down her bare back. He certainly had. His hands had stroked down her hips and back again, over and over and over unable to stop. His face had been buried in the crook of her neck at one point, he couldn't be sure if he hadn't moved his lips over her skin... The room was spinning now he was lying down, he was fantasising about her coming to his room and telling him she felt the same way, she couldn't resist it any longer, she wanted him to take her to bed... he'd do it and hang the consequences. He'd peel that skimpy dress off her and do whatever she asked of him. He knew it wasn't going to happen and equally he knew he wasn't going to go to her. It was better not to know than to face her turning him down. Still, he thought,  
Wait.  
Was that? Yes. Someone was knocking at his door.


	2. Nicola's musings on Malcolm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicola's POV, her thoughts about Malcolm. I hope you enjoy :-)

The first time she'd met him she'd been aware of how attractive he was. In a purely clinical, detached way of course. It was distracting though when she was supposed to be angry with him. He was also arrogant and bony and thoroughly, obviously hated her. So the fact that she hadn't really stopped thinking about him since wasn't ideal. 

He was the absolute opposite of James. Her husband was so cold towards her now, he was currently lying with his back to her personifying their entire relationship. Malcolm looked at her like his entire world had shrunk to just her. It was blindingly hot underneath his gaze and she couldn't help but imagine he'd be exactly the same if he was making love to her. Well, fucking her as he'd no doubt say. He'd look at her with the same frightening intensity as he peeled her clothes off and that filthy mouth would still be running, talking to her and kissing her and all over her. She sighed at how pathetic she was. Probably every other female M.P had the same fantasy, certainly there was nothing special about her. 

But then sometimes she thought there was. She'd caught him gazing at her legs tonight with unmistakable longing. He'd stayed with her all night even though there were much more important people in the pub, walked her out, god she really shouldn't have kept touching him like she had. But he hadn't seemed to mind. And he'd given her his coat! Fuck that was sweet. And the way he'd looked at her... she'd positioned herself in the car so her skirt would ride up and it had had the exact effect she'd been hoping for. His eyes kept flickering down to her leg and to her lips. He'd leaned into her, she actually thought he was going to kiss her at one point. But of course he hadn't. It was probably all in her mind, she was quite drunk. 

She'd done the impossible today, she'd made him lose the ability to swear. She'd cried in his office, so tired and utterly overwhelmed as he said those horrible things would happen to Ella. And he'd been, sweet, for Malcolm. She felt quite, quite comforted really, and not nearly as embarrassed as she perhaps should. Oh god at one point he'd said 'That's my girl'. She really didn't want to examine too closely why she liked that so much. The fact was, she wanted to be his, was in fact dangerously close to being all his already. 

As she collected her scattered thoughts the one that really stuck out was his expression when he'd asked her to stay. When he looked at her like that she could almost convince herself it wasn't for the party. Imagine that. Malcolm Tucker begging HER not to leave him... Oh she was fucking ridiculous. Of course that wasn't what he was doing, and instead of fantasising she should be worrying about telling her family they weren't in fact moving to America. And, now she thought of it, coming up with a plausible excuse as to why she'd suddenly changed her mind that wasn't 'I'm head over heels for my spin doctor and he asked me with one beautifully delivered word and before I knew it I'd agreed.' Shit. 

She really hadn't listened to a word he'd said today. He was angry and gesturing wildly and, fatally, she'd noticed how attractive his hands were. Cue another utterly filthy scenario to add to the huge back catalogue of daydreams she already suffered through. Mostly centring around being fucked over his desk. Or blowing him in his office. God she as a walking cliche. She'd started thinking about him when she was choosing what she'd wear each day, that was new too. But he couldn't help his gaze it seemed, and the tighter her skirt, the lower cut her blouse the more he looked. And she fucking loved it. She never felt sexier than when he was biting his lip and looking her up and down. It really was far too obvious but she was too addicted to him to care; often she'd 'need to bend over the desk to get something' and she'd do it slowly so as to afford him the best view of her arse. By the look of his darkened eyes he appreciated it. 

This new approach to clothing had back fired somewhat today as Steve Fleming, far too touchy feely at the best of times, had slimed his way towards her and copped a proper feel. Warmth spread through her though as she remembered Malcolm's reaction, she'd thought he was going to throttle him. His teeth were gritted and the tension was rolling off him in waves as he'd threatened the odious little man. When Steve had scuttled off she'd thanked him shyly and he'd said 'my pleasure pet' while looking at her in a way that made her knees go weak. She'd never felt more like his girl. 

She lay on her hotel bed unable to decide what to do. She was sure he wanted her now. It was unmistakably there in the way he'd touched her tonight. She'd worn this dress with the sole intention of impressing him and god it had worked. She'd watched as his expression dropped when he saw her, the way his eyes roamed hungrily over her, not even bothering to pretend they weren't. And they'd got drunk together and flirted and teased and he'd leaned down to whisper in her ear when there was really no need, the music wasn't that loud. Not that she was complaining. Not when she could feel his hot breath on her skin, the roll of that gorgeous accent all for her. HE'D led her to the dance floor. HE'D stroked his fingertips down her bare back and over her hips and held her firmly and buried his face in her neck. He'd kissed her there. Her head was spinning just at the memory of him losing himself in her in front of everyone. She wanted him so much she didn't care about the consequences. It really was such a bad idea. She didn't even particularly care that she would be cheating on James but she would care if Malcolm changed towards her afterwards. But she was at his door now, she'd already knocked. And there he was with his shirt unbuttoned and no tie on looking at her like he wanted to devour her.  
She smiled softly at him.  
'Nic' he said with more longing and more desire in one syllable than she knew was possible. And he'd pulled her into his room.


	3. Malcolm's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Malcolm's POV on the morning after the night before, I hope you like it :-)

He woke first. He was glad as this gave him a chance to look at her unimpeded. He took in every feature, memorised them in case he never got this chance again. Their night together had been better than he'd ever dared imagine it would be. He was still so drunk on her that whatever happened next, whatever scandal, he just couldn't bring himself to care, not as long as he could keep spending nights like this. That was really dangerously unlike him, but he was starting to think maybe this new attitude was here for good. God they'd only gone to sleep a few hours ago. There had been absolutely no way he was wasting this opportunity on sleep. She was in his bed, she'd even made the first move for fucks sake. 

He'd pushed her to her limit, every time he'd got his breath back he was on her again, kissing her sweet mouth, running his hands all over her soft skin. And she was so gratifyingly responsive, she'd shivered for him, moaned for him, he'd lost count of the amount of times she'd come for him. 

As soon as she was in he'd pushed her against the door and kissed her deeply, run his hands through her hair, swallowed her moans as she melted into him. She'd surprised him with the ferocity of her desire, easily matching his, she'd pushed him down onto the bed and peeled her own dress off for him, slowly, watching his hungry expression, enjoying the pleasure he took in looking at her, totally naked under it making him practically feral. 

He'd pulled her down roughly, kissed and sucked and bitten his way down her body, marked her all over as his and his alone and then knelt between her legs, licked her til she'd come on his mouth her body shuddering with the force of her orgasm, her head thrown back, his name strangled and sobbed from her lips. He hadn't been able to stop, she'd tasted so divine, so he'd carried on: lips and tongue sucking and licking and kissing her soft folds as she begged him not to stop.  
'God, PLEASE Malcolm!' her voice was still ringing in his ear and she'd come again hurting him with the force of her hand in his hair keeping him where he was. 

She'd been panting when she kissed him desperately, tasting herself, she'd straddled him and all but ripped his clothes off him and GOD she'd sunk down onto his cock and he'd nearly come there and then. He lasted a laughably short time, there was no way he was hanging on when she was so hot and so tight and moaning and writhing and oh fuck. 

When she'd collapsed into his arms he didn't stop touching her, kissing her lazily, partly because he couldn't let her go, partly because the last thing he wanted her to do was panic, come to her senses, tell him it was all a mistake. But she didn't. She'd stroked him til he was hard again and taken him in her mouth and sucked him til he'd come down her throat nearly telling her he loved her because FUCK she was good. 

And she'd let him touch her, slip his fingers into her, bury his face in her neck and he'd made her arch up into him and cry his name again and again. He loved the way she said it. 

She stirred slightly in her sleep and curled herself more tightly to his chest. He really was so fucked. Because now he'd never be able to live without her. Would she wake and tell him this was a one time thing? God she had kids to think about not just a marriage and a career. How would he convince her to stay with him? Was that even the right thing to do, or just the selfish thing? Frankly he couldn't do much more thinking, he needed her again, far too much for his brain to be involved. He leant over and kissed her neck feeling her wake, moan softly and run her hand up his back. He smiled into her skin and growled 'mornin darlin' not giving her time to answer instead kissing her mouth again and rolling between her open legs.


	4. Nicola's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicola's thoughts on last night and the future, I hope you like it :-) xxx

She woke to him kissing her neck, arousal had soaked between her legs and she'd moaned and gripped him to her before she was even properly conscious. Last night had been like nothing she'd ever felt before. She didn't think she'd ever begged anyone, she'd certainly never screamed anyone's name like that, she should have known he'd do that to her. 

She'd totally lost herself as soon as he'd kissed her. She could feel how much he wanted her, he kissed her like he wanted to drown in her, his hands were all over her, restless like he wanted to touch all of her at once. And it had made her confident enough to push him away from her and make him watch her undress herself. He'd looked at her like she was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen and pounced on her straight away. 

She'd been right about his mouth. He muttered constantly, about how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her, how good she felt, it made her even more desperate. The only time he'd been quiet was when he'd clamped his mouth between her thighs and oh GOD she'd come so hard she thought she might pass out. And still he didn't stop. It had been so long since James had gone down on her and he'd NEVER done it like this. Malcolm licked at her like he was enjoying it as much as she was, looking at her constantly, and so intensely, watching her reactions to every move he made and fuck, it made her totally lose control of her mouth. 

She'd writhed beneath him and begged him not to stop, told him she was so close, that he felt sooooo good and moaned his name again and again as her body trembled for him. And when he'd finished he sat back and looked at her, watching her get her breath back and said 'Christ, ye're so hot when you come.' She'd grabbed him and kissed him, straddled him, ripped his clothes off as he moaned 'ye taste so fuckin good' and 'fuck the way you lose control for me, ye're fuckin gorgeous Nic'la' and she couldn't slow her movements, she sank down onto his cock and fuck he stretched her, filled her completely and she'd half screamed with the pleasure. 

She'd ridden him so hard, her head tipped back, his mouth all over her neck, her breasts, his groans in her ear, his hands bruising her hips. She'd come ridiculously quickly and almost painfully hard, taking him with her and they'd collapsed together overwhelmed. 

He surprised her by gripping her hard to his body, stroking her hair, his mouth on her constantly. Any worries that it would be awkward or that she should leave were totally unfounded, he was addicted to her. It made her want to please him, she wanted him to lose control because of HER, so she grasped him lightly and he bucked up into her hand immediately. She kissed his neck and all down his chest, his stomach so slowly, teasing him, watching him the whole time, he looked at her like he was awe struck. Did he think she wouldn't want to do this? When she took him in her mouth he groaned and swore and pulled her hair. She loved it. She took him as deep as she could, swirled her tongue around him and he groaned 'Nic! Aw Nic'la fuck that's good. God look at ye, with ma cock in yer mouth' and she'd moaned around him and looked at him naughtily. When he came she swallowed him down eagerly, he told her she was incredible and rolled her onto her back to find her soaking wet again. 

And he used those long fingers she'd fantasised about to play her like an instrument, his thumb hard on her clit, his voice in her ear as he made her come again and again and again until she couldn't take it anymore. He stayed where he was, face nuzzled into her neck his hand stroking her waist as they fell asleep. 

And now he was on top of her again kissing her just as desperately, rock hard against her, moaning her name again. And she didn't want the foreplay she wanted him inside her NOW. 'Malcolm' she whispered in his ear 'fuck me, please, I want you to fuck me.' She half moaned and smiled shyly at him. The look in his eyes was utterly filthy when he commanded that she get on all fours, shove that pert little arse in the air for him. She complied straight away hearing Malcolm moan at the sight. He was teasing her, running his hands over her arse, her thighs, her breasts until she begged 'please Malcolm, please I need you.'   
'Oh yes nicola' he replied slightly breathlessly and finally entered her in one long stroke that made them both cry out. It really was too much for her, his fingers were moving on her clit to devastating effect, his voice was becoming more and more strangled as he told her how fuckin good she felt and his cock was pounding into her hitting the melting spot inside her with every stroke. She was semi aware that she was whimpering with the pleasure of it, her legs were trembling, she was so close, just a bit more and OH she'd screamed her release into the bed clothes, Malcolm not far behind her. 

He took her into his arms once more, but it was different now, the sun light was streaming in, his phone was ringing every two minutes and they both knew they had to go back to reality. She had no idea what he was thinking. She had no idea what SHE was thinking!! Oh god she didn't want this to end, but would he want to be in a relationship with her? Was he capable of a functioning relationship?! Could she put her kids through that? She was almost sure he was going to tell her it had been fun but they could never do it again, wasn't he? Or he might even get cruel, angry that he'd put his career on the line for her, what if he told her it meant nothing? The way he'd been with her tonight, could she believe him? Would it be easier if they left it at a one night stand? But could she resist him if he touched her again?   
'So darlin' he interrupted her panicking, words muffled by the way he was nuzzling her hair, 'where do we go from here?'


	5. Malcolm's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and nicola make some decisions on their future. I hope you like it :-)

He stroked her face softly but absent mindedly as he looked down at her, waiting for her answer. He really didn't know what she was thinking. He knew they'd spent an extraordinary night together, surely she couldn't deny that? But if that's all she wanted that wasn't enough to risk everything. He saw the nerves shining in her eyes and in the way she fidgeted, so he jumped in.   
'I don't, I don't want this to be it darlin' he said quietly, trying to gauge her reaction. 

To his delight she broke out into the smile that did something very fuckin unsettling to his heart and admitted 'neither do I,' He kissed her lingeringly before pulling her roughly onto him, making her yelp in surprise and beam down at him, before kissing him thoroughly. God her lips were addictive.   
'Think I might ring in sick today' he said, only half teasing, stroking her neck tenderly.   
'Just stay here with you,' he growled seriously. She smiled at him indulgently, stroked his face and kissed him long and slow and deep. To his disappointment she pulled away from him upon hearing her phone ring.  
'Ah its the nanny I need to take it' she said getting up self consciously and walking to the bathroom. He turned onto his back after he'd watched her go. What a daft bint she was he thought fondly. He'd spent all night and all morning worshiping every single inch of her and now she thought he was going to be put off by, what? She was fuckin perfection for fucks sake! 

Where would they meet when they got back to London? He mused. His place, a hotel? There was always the risk of some fucking nosy journalist stumbling upon something, unless shes ready to leave her husband straight away that is, he thought   
happily. Ah yes, that would be perfect. And frankly he didn't see why not, all the years he'd known her she'd never been happy with him. The way they talked to each other, well there was no love left. 

God he'd have a family. He loved his sister's wee bairn so much, always had. In fact he'd secretly, very fuckin secretly thought he'd like kids of his own. Or at least he'd like to spend more time with his niece. He had what was probably a fantasy about coming home to nicola, oh it would be like the fuckin Waltons, all those kids running around in happy chaos, he'd cook for them, Nic would smile up at him, kiss him. 

It would probably be better for the bairns if he didn't move in straight away though, give them time to get used to him. He had his trepidations, he didn't, to his shame, really know how to talk to kids. It was a worry because he needed them to like him. But then, he thought with a rush of contentment that accompanied every thought of her, his nicola would help him do the best he could. 

The door to the bathroom opened, he called 'everythin' ok love? I was just thinking about the future ye know, i' he stopped when he saw her expression. She'd drowned her lovely body in the ugly complimentary hotel dressing gown and was looking at him like someone had died.   
'Hey hey what is it pet? What's wrong, are the kids ok?' He asked worried to fuckin death, striding over to her to cup her face. 'Yes, ye the kids are fine thank you' she said distractedly. She pulled away from him.   
'Then what is it nicola?'   
'We, i, we can't do this again' she said, resolutely not looking at him, pulling her dress back on with little finesse. His world stopped turning for a moment.   
'What? What - I don't understand' he said faintly. 'A moment ago you said you wanted to be together' he was bewildered. 'What the fuck happened nicola?' He demanded.   
'I just, I can't do that to the kids I'm sorry I...'  
'No, wait, WAIT.' He grabbed her hand but she shrugged out of his grasp.   
'Wait!' he shoved her much more roughly than he'd meant to against the door. 'You don't mean this, we can talk about this pet, we'll sort it all out' he promised sounding urgent even to his own ears.   
'I can't, look I'm sorry' she said tearing up, 'this was a mistake, I'm sorry' and then she'd gone.   
And he was left with a slammed door and an empty bed.


	6. Both POV's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Malcolm and Nicola have many thoughts.... I hope you enjoy :-)

Things changed for both of them in the weeks after their night together. Nicola barely looked at him these days. His efforts to talk to her had her squirming away from him and offering no explanation. Just telling him it was a mistake. And that felt like he'd been punched in the gut every time she said it. He lay on his sofa when he finally got home from work these days and didn't have to fantasise. Her scent, her voice, her moans, her soft skin and velvety lips all haunted him. In some ways it made it more painful. He'd got what he wanted, and could never have her again. 

Nicola for her part was more miserable than ever. Not only did she want to be back in his arms, desperately, she also felt immensely guilty for what they'd done, so every thought of him came with a jump of her heart and a lurch of her stomach. He stared at her all the time now. Quite openly. He'd tried to talk to her but she just couldn't, she knew he'd talk her right back into bed. The morning her nanny phoned and told her that josh, her youngest, her baby was in hospital while she was in bed cheating on his father had her cringing with the guilt. It had, thank god turned out to be a false alarm but still, he'd been distraught and poorly and wanting his mummy while she was begging Malcolm Tucker to fuck her harder. Malcolm wouldn't want that, that domesticity he just wanted to bed her, and she'd be a fool to let herself think otherwise. And yes he had made her heart, not to mention the rest of her, sing, but she should surely be getting over it by now? Really she shouldn't be so upset at letting him go. He'd made her no promises. What had he said? 'He didn't want this to end.' Well, clearly that just meant he wanted someone he could shag regularly didn't it? He'd find someone else.  
That really was no comfort at all. 

Of course the day came when all the tension boiled over. It always did with them. He'd called her to his office, late in the evening when they were both exhausted and most sensible people had gone home, to tell her the press strategy for dosac's new policy. She listened, trying not to think about his body on hers, his hands stroking her skin, his lips...  
'Nic?'  
She looked up, mentally shaking away her reverie.  
'Will you just fucking talk to me please?' The look on his face was breaking her heart.  
'There's nothing to talk about really' she lied trying to sound breezy, 'I just can't do this to my children. What if they find out their mother is cheating on their father? They've had enough upheaval from this job without this.'  
'So leave him.' He said simply.  
'What I, you don't, you don't want that' she said incredulously. 'You don't actually want to be with me, it was just sex wasn't it? I mean are you seriously telling me you'd take on my kids, as well as my career and living with me?! No!' She was shouting at him now, tearing up, to her disgust. He was trying to speak, but she was on a roll. 'I have to face it Malcolm you think I'm useless, an OMNISHAMBLES, not to mention frumpy and middle aged, no you'd be off with some 20 year old with perkier tits in a fucking heartbeat and where would I be?! A single mother with no job! No, all you wanted was sex and that's what you got, so I really don't know why you're complaining! You can find someone else, anyone else to fuck!' She finished, panting, and knew straight away by his face she'd gone too far. His expression was closed off to her, and ice cold.  
'I'm sorry I - '  
'Just go.' He said tonelessly brooking no argument. But when had she ever been sensible enough to let anyone have the last word?  
'Malcolm really I - '  
'Oh fuck off Nicola will ye! You really think ye're anything special? I'm not gonna BEG for you, you're right, that's the truest Fucking thing you've ever said, I CAN find another woman to warm ma fuckin bed at night, one that doesn't come with more baggage than fuckin Heathrow!' He roared at her. 

He was in her face, painfully aware that they were closer than they'd been in weeks. She turned her head so he wouldn't see the tear roll down her cheek and went to walk away but he snapped. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, slamming their lips together. Within a second she'd lost all rational thought, the resistance had left her and they were devouring each other's mouths. In their desperate quest to get enough skin bare his lamp got knocked off his desk and shattered as Malcolm bent over her wrestling with the buttons of her blouse, she ripped his shirt, he slammed her against the wall her thighs around his waist to attack her neck as she scrabbled to undo his belt until finally he was fucking her desperately right there on the floor of his office, not caring who could come in just solely focused on her. HER nails leaving welts down his back, HER cries of pleasure and pleas to go deeper, HER kisses, endless and needy, devouring his mouth in the way only she could. He'd only broken off from her perfect lips because he was so close, he was huffing and panting and groaning with each thrust, buried in the crook of her neck saying her name over and over again.  
'Nic'la oh Nic'la darlin I love ye, oh god, don't make me live without ye' he begged, overwhelmed by her, drowning in her.  
'Malcolm' she panted high and breathy but she didn't get any more words out for he'd started to massage her clit harder just like she liked it, bite her neck and pinch her nipple at the same time and she came, gushing all over him right there and then clinging onto him as her body contracted, screaming out his name. He lost his rhythm completely when he felt her muscles clenching around him, a few more shallow thrusts and he was there shouting her name out in his pleasure into the crook of her neck where his face was still buried. She could feel his panting breaths against her skin and put her hand up to stroke through his hair. 

To her utter shame she felt tears pricking at her eyes. She'd give anything to stay here, just a little bit longer with his body covering hers, his lips and hands restless on her skin. But how could she?  
'I, um, I have to go' she said quietly, extricating herself from Malcolm's desperate grasp. She dressed with her back to him. He didn't move, he was dumbfounded.  
'So this is it then?' he asked finally when she was about to walk out, 'after all that, everything we've just - and what I said?! And you're still going to walk away from me?' He asked fiercely, torn between wanting to scream at her for breaking his heart and wipe her tears away.  
'Nothing's changed. Has it? I can't break my family up for someone who thinks well she's available I'll shag her, til the next one comes along' She said, the smallest saddest smile ghosting over her lips. 'This mustn't happen again' she said openly choked now, took one last look at his face more open, more vulnerable than most people had ever seen him, broke her own heart and left.  
He had a decision to make. Run after her, tell her exactly how he really felt and risk her rejection, or let her go and try and get over her. There was no question in his mind as he righted his clothes and ran out the door. He chose her.


	7. Malcolm's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soppy? You best believe it's soppy :-) don't judge me lol

'Nicola! Nicola wait.'  
'Malcolm' she sighed, 'there's nothing left to say.'  
'Yes there fuckin is!! Look even if you don't fuckin want me,' she tried to interrupt, 'no listen woman! God shut your fuckin mouth for two minutes and listen will ye!' She scowled but complied.   
'Righ' EVEN if you decide you don't want to be with me I have to say this. Alright?' He demanded. 'If I don't make you see how I fuckin,' he took a deep steadying breath, 'feel, about ye I'll fuckin regret it forever more ye?' She nodded slightly dumb founded.   
'Right. Thing is right... aaaah,' he took a breath never actually thinking he'd have to get this far.  
'You, you are, you annoy the arse off me right.' He said in a rush. 'I mean ye're so fuckin irritating it's almost a skill' he said exasperated. Nicola looked unimpressed. 'And ye're idealistic to the point of naivety, and the amount of TIMES you've fucked up on this job oh my GOD - '  
'Is this going anywhere?!' She demanded. he paused realised all he'd done so far was insult her, but he had a point to make.   
'Ye, yes look I'm getting to it alright!' He snapped. 'My point is, you're argumentative, stubborn, irritating, all those things and fuckin more,' he looked down at her softly 'and I still fuckin love ye.' 

Her eyes widened as he carried on, 'somewhere along the way I started to find your idealism charming, and your stubbornness admirable and, and I even started to like yer hair fer fucks sake!' He looked so incredulous she couldn't help but burst out laughing. He smiled along with her and took her in his arms, 'I mean that's when i knew I was really fucked.' She smiled up at him, he stroked his fingers down her cheek.   
'It was never about sex it was always about you' he said softly. 'God the amount of times I imagined being with ye before it happened, the amount of times I nearly kissed ye' he admitted quietly.   
'I always wanted you to' she said pulling him down gently to do just that.   
'I meant what I said, I want you to leave your husband' he said looking at her seriously. 'Want ye to be mine' he growled. 'And I want yer bairns too, of course I do, they're part of you' he said softly wiping her tears away with his thumb. 'I love you Nicola.'   
'God. Fuckin hell,' she laughed through her tears.   
'I know it won't be easy pet but god I just fuckin look at you and I know it'll be worth it' he said embarrassed by the slightly pleading tone his voice had adopted.  
'So what do ye think darlin?' He asked nervous as hell. 'Do ye think we can make a go of it?'   
She nodded, beaming at him 'yes. Yes, yes yes!' she laughed as he picked her up and spun her round feeling like his fuckin heart was beating for the first time in years.   
'I love you' she said suddenly serious. 'I'll tell James tonight.'  
'Tell him tomorrow, come home with me' he growled nipping her jaw line.  
'Mmm yes' she sighed.

Before he knew it they were on his sofa, she was lying on top of him her head on his chest as he stroked his fingers through her hair.   
'Ye know, this is where I thought of you most often.' He admitted feeling more relaxed and content than he had for years with her soft warm body covering his.   
'Really?' she smiled raising her head to look at him.   
'Yes darlin,' he stroked her cheek eyes roaming over her lovely face. 'I'd lie here working and, god I used to think over the encounter I'd had with you that day and I'd worry I'd made it too obvious I wanted ye, sometimes I'd convince myself you felt the same way but I never believed it for long.'  
'Well you know I do now darling,' she kissed him lovingly.  
'I fancied you from the start,' she smiled.   
'Did ye? What when I was shouting at ye about Ella's school?!'  
'Ye, even then. I mean I must have been mad but yes, every time I saw you I felt like a school girl with a crush.' She rolled her eyes self deprecatingly.   
'I thought you were beautiful.' He said seriously. 'But still I never expected to fall in love with ye. But by the time you'd cried in ma office I knew I was totally fucked. I knew I'd do anything to make ye happy.'  
'I love you' she said again, shaking her head feeling pretty awestruck at the whole situation. 'Come on,' she said before kissing him soundly, 'take me to bed.'


	8. Both POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah a day without a matinee :-) sorry about the delay in uploading but two shows a day, every day will do that to a person haha.  
> SO, there's a snap election. They can't afford the publicity so they decide she can't leave her husband yet... hope you enjoy :-)

The ensuing weeks were like nothing he'd ever experienced. He was utterly intoxicated with her, addicted to her, he risked his career daily just to touch her. He texted her constantly, every chance he got, telling her he missed her, he wanted her, he was coming over. He pulled her into empty offices, frankly any alcove they passed to touch and kiss her frantically, knowing at any point they could be caught, he took ridiculous risks. He schemed and planned to see her more than he schemed and planned for the fucking election.

But she was just as bad. She got on her knees for him in the office, straddled his lap in the car with just the partition between them and Elvis, moved his hand to her wet naked sex, made him stroke her til she'd come, as quietly as she could, panting into his neck, even when on their way to his flat. She'd text him when she knew he was in meetings, her most explicit desires that had him seeking her out and taking her, panting and desperate against the nearest wall immediately afterwards or forcing her to her knees, his hands tangling roughly in her hair as she eagerly sucked at him as 'punishment' for riling him up in the first place. As if he didn't pay her back just as eagerly in his bed later that night, gripping her hips almost violently hard to lick at her til she screamed his name. 

It didn't seem to matter to her and he couldn't make himself care either the amount of near misses they had, springing apart from frantic kisses, bodies pressed together, hands wrenching up clothes to touch hot, sensitive skin just in time not to be caught. The only time she'd told him to lock the door was the day he'd teased her so mercilessly, telling her over the phone in explicit, filthy detail exactly what he wanted to do to her when he knew she was in a room full of people and couldn't react, had to suppress her every whimper, every moan and pretend she was having a normal conversation. She'd come to his office late that night and perched on his desk, spread her legs for him so he could see she was knickerless and soaking wet. He'd groaned, dropped to his knees in front of her but she'd pushed him away, refused to let him touch her. She'd made him watch her undo her blouse, reach under the flimsy lace of her bra to massage her full breasts, trail her fingers achingly slowly down her stomach. Then she'd gripped the desk and moved her own hand hard and fast on her clit, her fingers deep inside herself while he watched open mouthed and pained with longing for her. Her eyes had been closed, lost in her own pleasure as she'd writhed and shuddered, told him how good it felt, how she did this thinking of him so, so often and when he'd begged for her she'd come so hard on her own fingers he could practically feel her ecstasy. She was flushed and panting as she'd sauntered over to him, let him think she was going to put him out of his misery, put her fingers in his eager mouth so he could taste her, lick her clean and then to his utter dismay, left him high and dry. He'd spanked her as punishment, over her desk the next night, fulfilling a fantasy he'd had since he'd fucking met her. And to his surprise and delight, she'd loved it as much as he had. Her arousal had coated her thighs and she'd come screaming his name almost as soon as he'd started to fuck her, and twice more before he'd finished. 

But as filthy and wonderful as their encounters at work were he never felt happier than when she was on her way to his flat. There, he could pretend they were whatever he wanted them to be, married maybe or the only two people in the world. They would make love as slowly and leisurely as they wanted and afterwards they could talk about anything and nothing and she'd always hold him as tightly as he held her. But with the highs came the lows, and god he never felt more empty than when she'd left.

She hardly recognised the person he'd turned her into. Her every commitment, god her every thought took second place to him. She instigated as many reckless encounters as he did, she begged for things she never knew she needed before him, made noises she hadn't known she was capable of. He'd take her into her office covered with newspapers and shout obscenities at her for the benefit of her staff outside while really, his fingers were inside her, devastating her, his other hand over her mouth to keep her quiet as she fell apart for him. 

The way he'd hold her, the things he'd say never failed to surprise her. He was so, so open about his love for her. She'd have to school her face into a neutral expression multiple times a day as she read texts from him, telling her he couldn't stand to go another minute without her, that he loved her more than he thought it was possible to love anyone.

Her staff thought he was shouting at her so many times a week now, they were actually worried about her. Well, that's what they said although they were much, much more likely to be worried about their own jobs. If only they knew, really she was going to his office because he'd told her he had some spare time they could fill. And they found many, many ways to fill it. She loved getting on her knees for him, she never felt more powerful, sexier than when he was looking at her like that, like he could barely control himself, like she was the sexiest thing he could imagine. She'd expose her breasts for him, touch them herself just to watch his eyes darken and hear his groans turn to helpless whimpers when her tongue finally touched his hard, aching flesh. She'd suck and lick at him so eagerly, take him as deep as she could, watching his face the whole time, the pleasure and awe and love that was written there. And god he could never, never keep his mouth shut, he'd say things like 'FUCK Nic'la, look at ye, those pretty lips round ma cock, SUCH a good fuckin girl' and she'd tremble with need herself just hearing it.

She got reckless in her desire. Sent him explicit texts telling him exactly what she wanted to do that night, she loved how wound up it made him. It always ended in the most explosive sex, right there in work, way, way before they could even reach the evening, her legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into her, both so keyed up from their teasing. Sometimes she'd do it just so he'd call her his dirty girl and demand she suck him off. And she wasn't averse to reversing the roles either, she'd chastise him for wearing a particularly sexy, tight suit or for teasing her all day and demand he bury his face between her thighs, make her come on his mouth. And GOD did he.

She was writing one such text for him now because tonight was going to be special. She'd let him down three nights in a row, things at home, commitments with the kids and then frustratingly James's work's do she'd had to show her face at, pretending to be a dutiful wife while all the time dreaming of Malcolm, had taken precedence and kept them apart for the longest time since they'd been together. He'd been gutted, clingy, and everything had multiplied. His texts telling her how he adored her, the amount of time he spent holding her at work, like he normally only would at home, stroking her hair, her face telling her how much he loved her, needed her and what absolute agony going back to an empty flat and thinking of her all night was, and she didn't think she could love him more. This situation was intoxicating, all consuming and frankly the ferocity of their need for each other scared her and thrilled her in equal measure. So today she wanted to make it up to him, wanted him to know she'd missed him and needed him just as badly. So she sent; 'Thank god we're back to normal tonight, I couldn't have gone another day without you darling. I love you so much. I can't wait to be in your arms again, yours again, although I'm always yours, you know that. As soon as we're home I want you multiple times, as many times as we can before I have to go. I want to be on top at least once, to slide down onto your big hard cock, fuck you so slowly, tease you til you're begging me. I want to leave with your finger prints bruised into my hips again, god I love the way you look at me when I'm riding you, like I'm the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. You'll squeeze my breasts and my arse and kiss my neck and tease my clit and I will fucking come so hard all over you. I'm so desperate for you. And I want you knelt between my thighs your tongue on me, stroking me incessantly til I'm shivering and writhing and panting for you. You know I can never help myself when you're eating me out, can't help but buck my hips up, press myself deeper onto your mouth, my hand in your hair forcing you down. God your mouth makes me scream. I'm soaking wet just writing this. I NEED you Malcolm.'

He'd surprise her at any time, any day and still beg her to carve out a few hours to come to his flat while she lied about working late. But she knew why. Being in the flat, just the two of them, they could completely give themselves to each other. Wherever they took each other they always ended up lying in each other's arms. He'd always, always hold her so tightly it was almost painful in the time between their frantic encounters and when she had to leave. Their fingers would stroke adoringly over the other's skin, mouths nuzzling necks and chests, whispering about the future when they'd have no time limit at all. 

But with the highs came the lows. She had to go back to James every night. She'd never felt more dissatisfied with her husband, his droning, boring voice and occasional, fumbling attempts at intimacy, now she'd felt love like this. That was the only thing she wasn't honest with Malcolm about. She never told him her husband kissed her or touched her. She knew how jealous he'd be and ironically, it felt like she was betraying him every time James so much as looked at her. There was no point in telling him, it would just hurt him and soon, so soon she'd be all his, and in the meantime, well, he'd never find out anyway.


	9. Both POV's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think they've been too happy lately... so lets ladle a bit of angst on lol I hope you enjoy it :-)

She may have spoken too soon. James was insisting on repaying the favour and coming to a function she had to show her face at. He'd sprung it on her that evening, had been getting ready when she got home from work. He wanted to 'meet all the people you complain about so much' he'd said to her, thinking it was funny. And why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't SHE want the support of her husband in the nest of vipers that was Westminster? Well, that's what a wife who wasn't in love with some one else would think.

There really was nothing to worry about, she told herself in the car on the way over. But she was strangely nervous. There were times when she just couldn't comprehend how anyone could see her and Malcolm together and not instantly shout 'YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR!' She'd have to stay away from him for both of their sakes tonight. His career was everything to him, she couldn't be responsible for him losing it, it would break his heart. It would be boring without his acerbic comments making her laugh though, she knew she'd ache for his surreptitious touches as soon as she saw him and, worst of all, this also meant she couldn't go home with him tonight. AGAIN. Damn James.

A few hours later and she'd thought things were going well. She thought she was doing a really stellar performance of a loving wife actually. She was tactile with her husband, she looked happy to be there, and she hadn't made any major conversational gaffes so really what more could she hope for. Malcolm was staying away, which was wise, he must have had the same thoughts she'd had about how obviously in love the two of them looked together. Still, it was so hard not to stare at him; Malcolm in a tux was enough to make her weak at the knees. She could feel his eyes on her all the time and she wanted more than anything to bask in the heat of that gaze but she didn't. Tomorrow they'd be back to normal, and then she could indulge herself all she wanted.

He was drunk. Really, properly drunk at a fucking work function, he'd never been that fucking irresponsible and stupid before. But then he'd never felt like this before. He'd been looking forward to tonight, he hadn't been able to see Nicola all fuckin day and now, he'd thought, they'd be able to sneak off so he could have a taste of her addictively soft lips, he'd make her come, quick and hard in a deserted room somewhere, then leave as soon as possible to go back to his. His skin practically itched for her. But he knew now that wasn't going to happen. 

She hadn't looked at him all night, wouldn't acknowledge him at all, and the more he drank the more he convinced himself it was because she was too wrapped up in her husband. Oh yes, she'd brought her husband along. He scoffed at how fucking pathetically happy he'd been when he saw her, just like he always fucking was. She'd walked in looking so beautiful, in a dress he'd thought was for him, that he hadn't even noticed the man she was with at first. He'd never met her husband before and his stupid first thought when he saw another man with his arm around her was he'd better go and save her, she wouldn't want anyone else touching her. But then he realised with a force that felt like a physical pain that this man had every right to touch her, much more so than him. 

And he hadn't panicked at first, not too much. He knew how she felt about him, she told him daily how she loved him, how she couldn't wait to be with him properly. But every single possessive stroke of James' hand over his wife's hips, every one of her radiant smiles had eroded this surety. So he'd ordered whisky to take the edge off. Why hadn't she come over to him? Why hadn't she even fucking looked at him?! He couldn't take his eyes off her, it felt like watching a car crash, devastating and compelling at the same time. 

The more drunk he'd got the more scared he felt. Was this her way of telling him she was going to give her marriage another go?! Had she lost her nerve over leaving him, or maybe, oh Christ, maybe she'd never even wanted to leave him in the first place. And then James kissed her. And she kissed him, tenderly and lingeringly and he'd found himself moving before he knew what he was doing. She looked shocked to see him. Of course she did, she was too fucking wrapped up in this twat.

'So,' he'd slurred, 'this is the famous James. The crook!' He sneered.  
'Malcolm!' She reprimanded him sharply and he had to hold himself back from shouting 'how can you be doing this to me?!' at her.   
'Ah, so you're Malcolm,' the towering, cocky bastard roared, slapping him on the back, 'you make my wife's life a misery.'   
Malcolm looked at Nicola before he replied. Looked for any sign, any at all that she disagreed with James. But her face was stony.   
'Apparently I do' he murmured, continued to look at her for far too long, and far too pleadingly. Eventually she'd smiled tightly at him, he'd never seen that fucking expression before, her face was usually so soft when she looked at him, so open and vulnerable.   
'Well, I can see you two are very fucking happy together' he'd said bitterly.   
'Of course' she said looking at him baffled.   
'Twenty five years next year' the twat had said and kissed Nicola's temple, he nodded forced out a half hearted 'congratulations' and then said very fucking nastily 'well I hope she's a better wife than she is an M.P' and walked away with his dignity and his heart in shreds.

He'd hidden away in the solitude of his office, collapsed into his chair with his head in his hands and another whiskey to dull the pain of contemplating life without Nicola. He'd wanted to hurt her, as much as she'd hurt him, but that wasn't possible. 

James was starting to embarrass her. He was well, well on his way to being steaming drunk, that meant he got louder, more obnoxious and, crucially, much, much more tactile. It made it so much harder to pretend she loved him. But mostly she was worried about how Malcolm would feel seeing them together like this. He had an awful, awful temper everyone knew that but she was more worried about him being hurt, betrayed. She thought he'd be sensible really, I mean there was nothing she could do about James and Malcolm knew exactly how she felt about him. 

Oh Christ James had leant in for a sloppy kiss. It lasted far too long for her liking. When she looked up, to her dismay she saw Malcolm looking utterly murderous, his eyes blazing like never before. Oh god was he drunk too?! Well that's really going to help the situation isn't it she thought, irritated. When he addressed James as 'the crook' she nearly dropped her glass, she couldn't believe he would be so indiscreet, god he was a lot more angry than she'd expected him to be. She was trying to smooth the situation over but he was looking at her with such open longing she was torn between trying to ignore it and act like he was just another colleague and throwing herself at him and telling him how much she loved him. 

When he looked at her in utter disgust and said 'I hope she's a better wife than she is an M.P' her stomach dropped. He knew she was a terrible wife, she was cheating on her husband for god's sake, it was such a personal dig and delivered with such venom she was suddenly scared. She couldn't lose him. She just couldn't. She extricated herself from her husband and told him she was going to the ladies, hoping he was drunk enough not to notice how long she might be gone. She suspected Malcolm would be drowning his sorrows in his office. As she rushed there though, her resentment grew. How dare he react like a child and insult her like that, what was she supposed to have done?! The anger and the desperate, clenching fear that she'd lose him were gnawing away at her stomach when she finally arrived at his office.


	10. Malcolm's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Xmas!! I hope you all get what you want :-) love xxxx

When she stormed into his office, her eyes blazing and demanded 'what the hell was that?!' he'd kept his expression blank. He didn't want her to know how profoundly affected he was, so he shrugged and said, rather pathetically, 'I don't know what you're talkin' about.' Oh god she was so beautiful. Usually by now he'd have her in his arms, he couldn't believe he couldn't do that anymore. 

'What the hell is wrong with you?!' She snapped and went to carry on speaking but he lost it.   
'What's wrong with me?' he asked dangerously low, getting up in her face. 'What is wrong with me Nicola? I was under the misapprehension, because you know, that's what you've told me,' he kept his voice under control until the last words, they were shouted in her face, 'that you fucking loved me!' 

'How can you even question that?' They were shouting over each other now, furiously and utterly futile as they weren't paying any attention to what the other was saying. 

'What was this to you Nicola hmm?! Just a shag?' He snarled. 'Make the working day a bit less dull and I was the only willing fucking participant? How could you make me all those fuckin promises when you so clearly want to be with him?!'

She slapped him. It came out of nowhere and it fucking hurt but it stopped him talking.   
'I love you you fucking idiot' she hissed holding his face in her hands, furious and terrified of losing him at the same time. 'You know how much I fucking love you, you know exactly how I feel about you, I tell you every day that I've never needed anyone like this before.' He was confused now, discombobulated, this looked like his Nicola again, sounded like her too. 

'Then why the hell were you all over him?!' He asked. 

'Because YOU said we have to keep this a secret!' She shouted at him letting him go. He missed the contact already. 'And you've done everything but shout from the fucking rooftops that we're together tonight!'

'And I thought we were,' he roared.

'We are!' She shouted back. 'But in case you forgot there's a fucking election to win and once we have THEN we will announce it, so what the hell was I supposed to do?!' She demanded. Oh shit she looked tearful now, he wouldn't be able to bear it if he made her cry.   
'I could hardly tell him not to touch me in front of you could I? However much I wanted to.' He was starting to understand. Oh god, he was such a twat. 

'I thought,' he struggled, 'look I thought...'

'No you didn't.' She snapped 'you didn't think at all, you were jealous and stupid and..' 

'I'm sorry, shit I'm so sorry, Nicola, darlin' he tried to take her in his arms but she fought him, attempted to pull away, but he overpowered her and she melted into him holding him like she never wanted to let go, her tears staining his neck. 

'I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry' he slurred kissing her head 'I love you so fuckin much Nicola.' There was silence. 'Oh fuck darlin please say it back.' 

'I love you Malcolm, you know I do. How could you think I don't?' she asked looking at him so hurt. 

He stroked her face 'you're right I wasn't thinking, I wasn't, I just, fuck I saw you kissing him and his hands all over you and and I hadn't expected it and my fuckin heart Nicola,' he said shaking his head. 'I thought you wanted to stay wth him, god it looked like you loved him.'

'Of course I don't! I don't know how you could ever have thought that with everything I've said and all the time we've spent together.'

'I know, I know I'm sorry. Please don't cry I can't stand it.' he pleaded kissing her cheeks, her eyelids, her lips, finally finally. They held onto each other like a drowning man holding on to a life raft, breaking off only when the need to breathe became too much.

'I love you' he murmured once more.

'I love you too.' She sighed. 'And I'm sorry' she said quietly, 'I shouldn't have been so angry. I couldn't bear to see you with anyone else either.'

'No don't, don't fuckin apologise' he said fiercely 'I should have known, I should have fuckin thought, shouldn't have been so jealous.' 

'God I'm yours Malcolm, you know I am' she said pulling back to look at him. 'And soon the whole world will know,' she soothed. 'And we'll be together properly,' she promised burying her head back in his chest. 

'Yes, yes,' he kissed her temple, where James had kissed her earlier he realised. 'I'm yours Nicola, I'm a fuckin idiot but I'm yours.'

She laughed softly 'yes, yes you fuckin are, but I love you so much.' They stayed there clutching each other, breathing each other in for an age until; 'You scared me,' she admitted quietly. 'I thought you were going to leave me, god I couldn't bear that.' she whispered burying her head in his neck. 

'Never,' he brought a possessive hand up to cradle her head, 'I'll never leave ye' he promised earnestly. She looked up at him and the fear he'd felt that he'd never see her look at him like that again, never hold her like this again came rushing back, but she kissed it away. 

'I love you' she breathed against his lips but before he could say it back his phone rang, making her jump and pull away from him.

'I'd better go back,' she murmured regretfully 'he'll wonder where I am.' He nodded and kissed her forehead longingly and hard. 'We'll talk tomorrow,' she promised, 'I'll be at yours, as usual,' and he nodded.

'I'll make it up to ye nicola,' she shook her head. 'No I will!'

'I'm just, glad you love me so much,' she said softly. 

'Of course I do' he buried his face in her neck 'of COURSE I do,' he kissed and kissed her there until she was breathless, tipping her head back for him, her hand hard in his hair keeping him where he was. He backed her up against the desk as she whimpered at his mouth on her skin. He forced her dress up, she opened her legs for him, fumbled his hands on her thighs, her stomach, pulled her knickers aside roughly as she moaned for him and fought to undo his belt. They made love there and then, still fully clothed, loud and abandoned, clutching each other, leaving marks, gasping and kissing and lost in each other.   
'I love you' he panted into her neck, against her mouth and she kissed him desperately and said it back, begged him never to do it again, and god never to leave her as he promised her everything she asked.   
'Malcolm' she whimpered matching his thrusts, his painfully tight hold, 'I love you, god I love you' she gasped as she came for him, overwhelmed and sobbing into his neck, his fingers painful in her hair.


End file.
